What is a traditional wife?
Your Role
Meet Your Husband's Need for Help & Companionship
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. - Genesis 2:18
You were uniquely created as a wife to be a suitable companion for your husband, joining him in his passions, plans, and pursuits.
Your Calling
Meet Your Husband's Need for Respect & Love
Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. - Ephesians 5:33
This is evidenced well when we as wives take time to prefer, honor, notice, esteem, appreciate, and admire our husbands. As is consistent with Scripture, the focus is on another, not yourself. You are not a lesser person because you hold your spouse in high regard.
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children... - Titus 2:4
Further study reveals that this can be described well as a husband's need for unconditional acceptance. Just as you have imperfections, your husband does as well. Avoid dwelling on these flaws and rehearsing them in your mind. Do not harbor grudges as it will inhibit your ability to love your husband well.
Lastly, while sex is only a part of love in marriage, it is still a part of how we express our love nonetheless. When you do not show interest in your husband or perhaps even resist his attempts at sexual intimacy, you are doing considerable harm to his self-image. Distancing quickly follows. This could even bring considerable damage to each of the pillars of intimacy within your marriage. You can love your husband well by eagerly meeting his need for companionship, listening to and valuing what he says, and desiring him sexually.
Your Commitment
Meet Your Husband's Need to Be the Leader of Your Home
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. - Ephesians 5:22-30
There are wives who find submission to be even harder than being an eager participant in sex. For some reason, to many wives submission has become a dirty word. Some see the word submit and immediately tune out, missing out on the beautiful picture of how we are designed to work together in harmony as a reflection to the world of the body and bride of Christ.
Many also miss out on the key concept that submission itself is an act of the will. I must yield my will to that of another. No one can "make you submit." That is an entirely different idea. We see the example here of a wife being submissive to her husband. A man who so loves her and wants only good for her that he would even give his life for her. Your husband makes many tangible sacrifices for you, but that does not give us license to view this as an if-then scenario. We are clearly instructed by Scripture to submit to our husband's loving leadership without qualifiers and even when we do not see it as such. I can more easily place myself under submission to my husband because I rest in the knowledge that my Heavenly Father loves me and has designed His best for me. This assurance can bring you great comfort also as you submit to your husband's leadership.
**I hate that I have to mention this, but I must: if you are in an abusive or destructive marriage get help. Right now, get off this site and make a call. Contact your pastor, an older, wiser couple, or a counselor, but do not continue to think "things will get better" if you do not take the necessary steps to make them get better. You are of great value to your Father.
